David Hoppe

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:: Show biz life

The next Silent Majority

By David Hoppe

This actually happened: I was waiting in line at a neighborhood grocery store when I overheard the cashier grumbling to a co-worker about "talking points." Then, as if to underline what he was saying, he turned back to the woman whose sale he was ringing up and, in his best garden party manner, asked her: "Are you looking forward to the State Fair?"

It seems the grocer this guy works for doesn't have sufficient faith in the help's ability to spontaneously engage with customers as their tenderloins, milk and frozen pizzas get rung up. Nevertheless, this grocer wants every one of us to walk away from the check-out counter feeling like we've had a personal moment with the face, however temporary, of his franchise. And so the cashiers are equipped with a sheet of paper with a list of recommended topics to bring up with customers.

The cashier showed me this list when it was my turn in line.

"Let's see," he said, looking at me and then checking his list. "Should I ask you whether you've gotten all your back-to-school shopping done?"

So, I thought, this is what watching too much TV does to people: It convinces us that all the incidental moments in life - those brief exchanges with cashiers, for instance - are just so much show biz. It makes you want to have a few stock quips at the ready, so you don't miss your opportunity for a snappy comeback. Whether these quips actually relate to what is said probably matters less than the timing with which they are delivered.

Function has come to follow form. Kids are being called back to school earlier than ever because, we are told, being away from classes for an entire summer causes them to forget what they were taught the previous spring. This, I guess, accounts for why the world is such a mess. For generations we were forced to stay away from school in June, July and August, never darkening a schoolhouse door until after Labor Day. God only knows how we passed the time during those 90-some days. Evidently the main thing we were doing was forgetting long division and how to diagram sentences. It's no wonder that when we grew up we'd think that making war in the Middle East would be a great idea and that credit was really as good as cash.

But just how bad having all those summers off really was for us hasn't made itself clear until recently. What else could possibly explain the calculatedly obstreperous behavior of the self-styled patriots who have made a pastime of fantasizing about President Barack Obama on the internet and showing up at so-called town hall meetings, equipped with talking points, to rant and rave about how much they hate the government. Apparently they spent their summer vacations playing cowboys because life as they seem to know it plays like an old John Wayne movie - one of those from the 1960s, when the Duke wore a toupee and made no effort to hide how seriously he needed a drink. In that version of show biz, it wasn't a quip that counted so much as a hard right hook.

Of course, when it comes down to it, town hall meetings are just another form of show biz. That's why I can't object to the angry acting out that's become part of the deal at these get-togethers. It's the latest installment of the theatre of protest that made such a splash on TV screens during the 1960s.

It's interesting: Disruption and confrontation were common tactics used by the Yippies and Weathermen to express their outrage over government policies during the Vietnam era. These actions, perpetrated by a relative handful, created a lot of raucous, even violent, images. They also succeeded in turning what Richard Nixon called a "Silent Majority" of Americans against anti-establishment politics and tarring the 1960's, in the middle class imagination, as irresponsible and lawless. Republicans ran successfully against the '60s from that time until this.

But now, from the look of it, many in the supposed Republican base want to stick it to the man, shove their local representatives up against the wall. Before you know it, they'll be threatening to levitate the Statehouse.

The congressmen and women who have shied away from town hall meetings during this recess are making a mistake. They should not only be sure to attend these meetings, they should schedule more of them. They should also call their local media outlets and make sure that what ensues is televised. If life has become showbiz, what the birthers and health care freakers are producing amounts to a '60s sequel.

Except this time the Silent Majority is on another side.